2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
I am not generally a worrier. Neither is my husband. If Sebastian ever expresses a concern about an issue I know it is time to take notice because he worries so little. I try to be on top of my life, but I am usually able to roll with the punches. This week, however, I am beginning to feel a nagging fear creep into the corners of my mind.
I don't know how to be poor. There, I said it. And that is the root of my worry.
We are a part of the housing industry. It's what feeds and clothes our precious children. It pays for swim lessons, dance lessons, Awana fees, Mops registration, and all of those other little things that we have grown accustomed to having in our lives. The creature comforts.
As I'm sure you know- unless you have been living under a rock- the housing industry has taken a HUGE hit this year. We have actually been able to ride the storm out to this point pretty well. We haven't had to change too much in our lives except to focus more on paying off our consumer debt. Lately, though, Sebastian has voiced concern about lining up the next jobs.
We have a client right now who is very fastidious. We have to make sure that everything that we do is up to her standards and done in a timely manner- or lose the client. The standard part has not been a problem because Sebastian has always worked "as unto the Lord." but the timeliness is an issue for me. And it is where I see the worry in his eyes. They ask the question, "What is next?" And it scares me.
We have also been talking about ways to drive less. HA HA! We own a business and have 5 children. But the fuel prices are so out of control. Now add to that the new hysteria of world food shortages, and I begin to panic a little.
We are the parents who have let their children eat "most" of their dinner and then scrape their plates into the garbage. I find myself putting less food on their plates this week and insisting that they eat it all. I fed my baby a piece of peanut butter toast on the way to daycare today. He ate less than half. Normally I would toss that piece of bread into the gravel for the critters to eat. But today I looked at it and set it gently into his car seat and brought it home so I could save it for him for later.
I guess what it boils down to is being a better steward of the resources that God has loaned to us on one hand, and resting in the assurance that my Abba owns the cattle on a thousand hills on the other.
That is my heart for today. I don't usually let you in that deep, but I think we might all be feeling the same way right now.
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Doesn't the Lord have a way with us? I memorized the passage from Matthew as a teenager and have clung to it in the tight times of my life. Reading it through just now reminded me of just how much my Abba loves me and has moved me to tears!