A Love Story

This post is long overdue.

It was waiting for such a special occasion.
This is my love story.

I was a lonely little girl on the brink of becoming a woman. I went to high school in Marietta, GA, so by the time I moved back to Washington where I grew up I no longer had any friends in the area. I began attending the community college nearby and immediately fell in with the BSU (Baptist Student Union) group on campus. I really clicked and I was finally making friends again.
But things never seem to stay the same for long in my life. My parents decided to move to Eastern Washington. At 20 and finally getting into a groove, I really didn't want to go- besides the move was only going to be for a few years until my dad could start his own chiropractic practice- so I stayed. I am the youngest of six kids and I had plenty of other family in the area. I stayed with my oldest sister and her family since they were close to the college and my job. That is until her husband took a job in Oregon, at which point my aunt and I got a house together.
But as I said, I was lonely. I missed my mom terribly. Since I was the only kid at home when we lived in Georgia, she and I were REALLY close. I was paying rent and going to school 20 credit hours- which meant also working 35 hours a week. You know, basically learning how to be a grown up. And alone. Which, as I already mentioned in a previous post, I don't do very well.

I decided to have a BSU New Years Eve Party. It was pretty boring. You know how those good Christian kids are. At about 10:30 someone knocked on the door. Obviously someone I didn't know because I have ALWAYS been a "let yourself right in" person. When I answered the door there was this tall, skinny, Euro guy standing there with a girl I didn't know. He said in his strong European accent, "Uh, hey-lo, I am looook-ingk for Geeeeena. Leeeah eenvited meee." Well, Leah I did know. And I wasn't alone. So I let the strange Euro dude into my house. I didn't know it that night but I had also let him into my life. Forever.
My boring party? Instantly fun. Mr. Euro knew so many funny stories- most of them relating to his mangling of the American language or his tromping on American culture. He really knew how to laugh at himself. That was really appealing to me. And he knew a lot of fun group games. And he was with a girl. Dang.
Shortly after 1 am I said goodbye to my last guests and fell into bed and thought about the night. And the fact that he was with a girl. Dang. What was his name again, anyway?

About 2 weeks later I was going to work at my little chiropractic screening kiosk in the mall when who should walk by but Mr. Euro. He stopped and came to say hello and we both instantly realized that we had met at this very spot at Christmas time. The chiropractor had hired a couple of massage therapists to do seated massage out in the mall kiosk for the Christmas shopping crowd. One of his friends had stopped and gotten a massage and we chatted while she did.
The third time's the charm, right? This time he asked me if I wanted to walk down to the food court with him and get a pop or something. Did I? Since I was about 10 minutes early I said yes. As we were leaving my boss whispered in my ear that I didn't have to be in for another half hour. We had fun talking over Coke and when he dropped me back off at work, I blurted out, "Do you want to go to a Bible Study with me at the UW BSU?" I had NEVER asked a guy out before....

We went. We had a good time. We ended up at the waterfront afterward, talking until midnight. A few days later I was talking to my mom on the phone. In the bathroom. In my pajamas. Taking off my makeup. Who do you suppose called? Yep, Mr. Euro. He wanted to take me out to dinner. I think I actually hung up on my mom- or forgot she was on the other line. I let him take me out to dinner. And for a drive. Into the mountains. Late at night.
We were finally standing looking at one of the peaks, him standing behind me with his arms around my shoulders. All of a sudden he spun me around and I could tell that he was going to kiss me. He did. On my forehead. And he told me that I was such a blessing to him.
Whoa, hold the phone! This guy that I barely knew had me all alone in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and he kisses my forehead?! And he calls me a blessing?! Be still, my heart. I knew in that moment that this was the man I was going to marry.

That totally freaks him out. It took him a lot longer to get to the same conclusion. After 11 years of marriage it still takes him a lot longer to reach my conclusions. That's actually pretty good for me, because it gives me time to think through my gut reactions and examine if they are really right. (They usually are- but usually is not always.)

I can hardly remember my life without Sebastian. And, God willing, I never have to think about a time when he won't be here. I am more in love with him today than I was 12 1/2 years ago if that is even possible.

I love the lyrics to the song "Longer" by Dan Folgelberg:

Through the years as the fire
starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the
pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

And In No Particular Order, Part 5

Alright, I saved the, um, the,well, the showstopper for last!

Abigail Evelina

Abigail was created by God to shine in the public eye. Being 5, she doesn't see this yet, but it is soooooooo true. She has a keen fashion sense that only rarely needs fine tuning before I let her out the door. She can sing. Man, can she sing! I think she gets that from me. When I was her age (actually I think I was a bit younger) I was singing solos and duets in our tiny country church. And she can dance. She definitely does not get that from me. She has been able to move her body and not look goofy or suggestive since she was about 2 1/2. Seriously. She took a combined ballet tap class last year, and even though she danced ballet like a 4 year old, she remembered the basic choreography for the show right away. She made some good friends in dance class, too. Next year if they have a class that we can fit into our schedule, she wants to take tap only. Fine with me. I think tap is so cool.

Abigail is almost 6 years old. She is in Kindergarten this year. She has learned to read a little already. I checked her in a book that she has never read before and she was able to sound out the whole thing. She is friends with her teacher's son at school. They are both very precocious and outgoing so I'm sure it is a perfect match as far as friendships go because he won't let her push him around.

Abigail tends to be a lion. You know, lion, otter, golden retriever, beaver. She thinks that we need her permission to live at her house! But, she is a natural born leader. Being a lion I can see good and bad qualities in her. She is a VERY powerful little girl. I hope that as she grows she can channel her natural ability to lead into something positive. I hope that we have the wisdom to shepherd her and not allow her to become a "Mean Girl."

Things I love about Abigail:

• She is exceedingly beautiful, but she doesn't know it yet.


• She will be a leader in her life, not a follower. I hope this saves her from much heartache and poor choices.


• She has no sense of embarrassment when she is performing.


• She is secure in her place in this world.

Somebody help me out here. I turned the video in my photo software and it still published sideways. What's the trick?

And In No Particular Order, Part 4

Some one once told me that 5 is the number of grace. I believe that. Since God thought I needed 5 kids, I'm glad He was graceful enough to make that 5th one Jonah. Jonah Sebastian. He's all hugs and hisses, squealing laughter and mischief. From the start he has been so easy for everyone in the family to love. In fact, the kids often argue about who's turn it is to play with, bathe, sleep with, feed, hold, sit by, take to Sunday school, pick up from daycare, or otherwise mother/father Jonah. I'm OK with that.

Jonah is 3 years old, but frankly he thinks he's either 5 or 7 (Like his sisters). This year I have one day of the week that only Jonah is home. That is the day I run all over town because he is just so stinkin' good most of the time!

Since JoJo is my baby he tends to get away with too much stuff- all with a twinkle in his eye, or a hug for me, or a warm snuggle. He is the only child that even thinks to sit on the counters. Since he was about 9 months old I have been setting him beside me on the kitchen counter, never concerned that he would wiggle his little self off. Now at 3, he parks himself on the counter just to watch and be near me. He is the only child that has been allowed to sleep in my bed. He just snuggles right in and goes to sleep. With all the children we were hyper vigilant about always putting them to bed awake and in their own bed. When Jonah moved out of the crib he found his way into my bed every night- and there he stayed. He usually starts in his own bed- and ends in mine. Sometimes I don't remember him coming in!

Jonah loves to play in mud puddles, and somehow I don't mind too much! He loves to go to Sunday school. I love that! He likes to go to daycare- it makes him feel big to go to "school" 1 1/2 days a week. He loves everyone of us with a heart so big that I don't understand how it could fit in that tiny body!

And In No Particular Order (Part 3)

This is Caleb.

How do you describe Caleb? How do you put the wind in a box?

Caleb is lively, unpredictable, funny, and sometimes a little volatile. But if you were to harness any of that- or put him in a box- he just wouldn't be Caleb any more.

When Cay was a baby- just 16 months old- his sister Elizabeth came along. Those two have been like peas and carrots ever since, cuz they's always together. She is his mouthpiece-or spokes girl, as it were- and he is her body guard. If you want to get to Libby you have to go through Cay.

Life for Caleb has always been a little more difficult than for most other people. He's one of those square pegs in a round hole world. Caleb didn't begin to speak until he was over three years old. He rarely looked at you when he spoke or was spoken to. He never volunteered any information, and he seldom responded with more than one word. More often than not he would do nothing if he was content, but scream and hit if he was upset.

I know you've just read that last paragraph and thought to yourself, "He's autistic." You might be right. I sometimes think that myself. However, I have chosen not to have him tested and diagnosed because if he is autistic, he is so high on the spectrum that it makes little difference. Also, because no matter what names and labels get attached to my children, they are all expected to grow into contributing members of society. I never want them to be excused from duty or responsibility, or passed over just because of a label.

When he started Kindergarten his poor brother had to drag him down the driveway to the school. Caleb would grab every upright object he could find to anchor himself to on the way. When Jesse picked him up from school he hit the door running and made it to the house before Jesse even left the building. (We live right next door to the school.) Much of the focus of Kindergarten was just getting him into the groove of going to school.

In first grade Caleb had a very "old school" teacher who presented us with some hard decisions. We had to decide on Special Services (Special Ed), medical intervention, or pulling him out of school. Caleb was already receiving Title I (reading) services since in first grade he could barely distinguish his letters. He couldn't write any words except for his name. The most troubling thing, though, was that he was easily frustrated/angered and spent a lot of time in self imposed isolation either in the hall or huddled in a corner of the room.

We finally decided that we would have Caleb put into speech therapy twice a week, and he would continue with Title I.

Also, I had long suspected that Cay was allergic to something. I decided it was time to take him to see the allergist/naturopath. As it turned out, Caleb was not allergic to something, he was allergic to everything. Almost everything that we considered food was making him sick. Beef. Pork. Dairy. Wheat. Corn. Rye. Barley. Citrus. All Processed Sweeteners. All Dyes. Mildly Eggs. Mildly Soy. We took Cay off all the offending foods with the exception of soy and eggs, because as the doctor said, he had to eat something! What did he eat? Rice, chicken, fish, fresh produce. That's about it. He was the only kid I knew who had a home cooked meal (very dinner-ish) in his lunch box at school. If you have ever read the ingredients on any of your favorite convenience foods very closely you would soon realize that all but the most specialized (read expensive) prepackaged foods were out! What a pain in my butt!

But how incredibly worth it! Within 2 months of totally rearranging our eating habits people were noticing major changes in my boy. He quit huddling in the hall and corner of the class room. He began to READ! He began to look at you when you spoke to him!

At Christmas that year I came into the kitchen at my parent's house to see my sister standing there with tears in her eyes. "I don't think he has ever spoken to Dave (her husband) before. They've been having a conversation for the last 5 minutes!" Wow. I knew he was getting better, but seeing him everyday I just didn't realize how much he had changed. She got to see the big change where I only got to see the little changes.

We kept Caleb on the specialized diet for a year. A year is a long time for a little guy. Caleb began to ask when he could start eating like a "normal kid" again. About this time I found a book called Enzymes for Autism and Other Neurological Conditions by Karen DiFelice. I immediately implemented the enzyme regime and eased him back into a "normal" diet- with the exception of sugars and dyes which still bring out his inner animal. So far, none of his teachers have noticed any change for the worse.

Caleb continues speech therapy this year at school, and probably next year too, but he has disqualified himself from reading services based on his ability.

I wouldn't want Caleb to be anything other than who God has designed him to be, but I am glad that the square edges seem to be getting rounded and shaped a little all the time.

Lest you think that Caleb's issues define him, let me tell you a funny story about Caleb humor. One night Cay came to the dinner table with a baseball cap on. Two rules: 1) wear a shirt 2) no hats. I told Caleb to take his hat off. He tugged at the hat a little but it didn't come off. He pulled harder at the hat, but it just pulled his head up with it. By the way, this hat is not adjustable and is about 3 sizes too big. His head was not stuck. At this point Caleb stood on his chair and pulled with all his might. Not budging. He yanked the hat sideways and it pulled him off the chair. He went flying through the air and rolled out of the dining room. We could hear a brief struggle and then he came back, hat in hand. "Finally." That was all he said. We, on the other hand were laughing so hard it took several minutes to compose ourselves for prayer. Caleb just sat there dead-pan as if nothing at all had happened.

Things I like about Caleb:

• His sense of humor


• He is fiercely independent- but still comes in for a "body check" (hugs and kisses) a few times a day.


• He always protects the "little guy" or the under dog- he's very compassionate.


• He is all about routine. He never leaves you guessing.

And In No Particular Order... (Part 2)

Elizabeth Iuliana
Yes, that's her up there.
That's my Libby-beth

Libby is our first girl. She's child 3 in the grand order.

Before Elizabeth was even born I had her name picked out. I never even considered any boy names. By the way, we're not peekers.

Elizabeth comes from the Old Testament. She is the mother of John the Baptist and the cousin of Mary. Elizabeth means "God is my oath." Her middle name, Iuliana, was picked by my mother in law. It translates to Julianna.

I had to think long and hard about the nickname, though, since I've never met a Liz or Beth I actually liked- Oh, wait there is one Beth. Sorry to the rest of you Liz's and Beth's I've never met . So Libby she is.

Libby is every one's favorite. All the kids beg her to play with them only- not the other brothers or sister. I guess that is good for her. She is the sweetest most lovable girl in the world. Libby is always looking out for other people. When we hike she has a tendency to be last- not because she couldn't be first, but just because she wants to make sure no one else gets left behind. That's just her nature. She will always stop what she is doing if her baby brother asks for something.

Libby is in second grade this year. She went to kindergarten at a local preschool when she was four because she missed the school district's secondary age cut off but was ready too go to school. She then went right into first grade where her brother was waiting for her.

That's an interesting story. When Libby was born, Caleb was 16 months old. He was walking but not talking, and not anywhere near being potty trained. He seemed to stop for a while. It was almost as if he was waiting for her to catch up. The potty trained together, started talking together- eventually I had to tell her to stop talking for him- and even learned to read together. When Libby was 16 months old Abby came along. They didn't bother to wait for her.

Libby is pure determination and spunk. If anyone can do anything, she an do it,too. And she'll prove it. Just look back at those pictures. She wasn't the first one to rope up that day, but by golly, she was the first one to reach the bolt at the end of the rope! Twice!

The school district does a cheer clinic twice a year where all the little girls get to cheer at a high school varsity game with the varsity cheer leaders. Libby absolutely loves doing that. She's pretty sure that she will be the captain of the varsity cheer squad as a freshman! I keep telling her that she is the one who will be on the top of every pyramid and the one to be thrown in the air for every basket toss because at 6 3/4 years old she weighs about 38 lbs. Her doc is not worried because somebody has to be on the bottom of the chart. And she does keep growing in the 10th percentile....

Libby is a pony tail, a pair of jeans and a skinned up elbow.

She is a cuddle on the couch whenever I am able.

She's a bed time prayer and a hug and a kiss.

She's a basketball thrown that will never miss.

She's a smile and a laugh, a pat on the back,

and a, "Go get 'em, girl!" because I know she is able.

And, In No Particular Order, Here They Are (Part 1)

Jesse Stefan

Jesse was chosen by his dad from the Old Testament. It is a Hebrew name meaning "gift". Stefan (Shte-fawn) is his Romanian grandfather's name which translates over to Stephen. We didn't realize it at the time, but our children are the only name-heirs in the family, and we scored big time points by naming our first son after the grandfather whose name he carried!

Jess is 10. He is in 6th grade. He is in middle school this year. Electives are a cool new thing for him. He decided to take Unified Arts so he could do the home-ec cooking unit. I did mention that he loves to cook, right.

Jesse has been making his own omelets since he was about 6. He likes them with Parmesan cheese and Herbs De Provence. If you just checked your spice drawer to see if you even had any of those- well, don't worry, you're not alone. We do tend to have an abnormal assortment of things he needs for his cooking.

About 3 weeks ago I twisted my foot and fell in our driveway. That put me on crutches for a week. It was a pretty good excuse to lay on the couch for a few days with my feet up. The bad news was that we already had dinner plans with some great friends that I really didn't want to reschedule. Not a problem, really.

Julie and Craig brought over salad and pumpkin pie, I made a batch of biscuits, and Jesse made Roasted Cod With Leeks and Cream. Impressive. I know. Actually, I hate fish. This was good enough that I tried it again this week. The sad thing is that it didn't turn out as well as Jesse's did.

Where did the kid get such a recipe? Well, Jesse decided he would go to study hall after school one day. When it got to be the end of the day he realized that he had all his homework done already. However, The big rule at our house is that if you tell mom and dad that you are going to be somewhere then THAT IS WHERE YOU WILL BE. Since he didn't have anything else to do, Jesse started reading cookbooks. Weird, I know.

The video is fresh off of his Cod success. I love it because it shows so much of his personality. He is either going to be a scientist or a chef. He's not sure yet. Maybe he could be both.

Jesse is the pot stirrer at our house. Calm drives him crazy. My mother always prayed I would have a daughter just like me someday- God answered her prayer in the male version of me.

Jesse is a "wordie" just like me. Before he could walk he was speaking in simple sentences. At 8 months he looked at me after bed time prayers and said, "Mom, yight off, peese." I'm not kidding. He didn't start walking until 11 months. I realized at about 1 1/2 that he had complete command over the English language when he started changing all the words to the songs he knew. Yes, they still rhymed.

One day at about 2 years old we were out for a drive and Sebastian and I were sharing a smoothie. Well of course, Jesse wanted some, too. We handed it back to him and he gulped away at it. All of the sudden, Jess smacked his forehead, screwed up his little face and said, "Ooh, this hates me!" and handed the smoothie back. Yep, you guessed it- brain freeze. Another day we were out shopping with my sister and she decided to drive through Taco Time. When Jess realized where we were he chirped up from the back seat, "Oh, lucky day! Lucky day!"

This is the big year for friends for Jess. He has never had to go looking for any because he has a built in set right here at home. This year, though he is at a different school- he left all of his siblings behind at the elementary school- and has had his horizons widened. Already he has brought home a bunch of phone numbers and1 party invitation. This is a tricky one for me since our kids don't go to people's houses unless I have met the parents and seen the house. Does any one have any advice on how to handle this one and still leave my middle schooler with a shred of dignity. The rule doesn't change, I'm just wondering how to do it without totally embarrassing him.

Jesse doesn't play team sports. Unless you count chess club. Actually we don't have a chess club, but he would be in it if we did. He is going to join the science club on Monday. It was a hard choice for him because both the science club and the library club meet on the same day. Go ahead and laugh. I am.

Obviously I could go on and on, but I will spare you the novel. He's cute and lively, and he may just be your son's boss one day- or President- who knows!

P.S. Sorry the video is sideways, I couldn't figure out how to turn it.

It's All About ME!

So, who am I? What makes me tick?

At this point in my life I am "Mostly Mom." I have 5 children. Jesse, my eldest, is 10. He is in 6th grade, and he loves to cook. That's great for me, since I strongly dislike it. Caleb, child 2, is 8 years old. He is in 2nd grade. Caleb is all about order and routine. This is particularly challenging for me. Elizabeth, the first girl, is 6 3/4 and also in 2nd grade. She is our mother hen. When she was barely toddling she would keep her eye on her older brothers at all times and gently correct them if they began to step out of line. Abigail is 5 1/2. Abby is stepping out into the world of kindergarten this year. There is not a stage big enough for the drama that comes out of this child- and not all of it is bad drama either. I have heard that 5 is the number of God's grace. I can easily see how this could be true. Jonah is my baby- even though he turns 3 in 24 days. He is the sweetest child I have ever met. He speeks the language of love that I "get." We both love quality time. I'll do a more thorough introducton to my kids in a later set of posts.

I am married to Sebastian. We met on New Years Eve of '95/'96. We have been married for 10 1/2 years. Wow where did those years go?! I can't imagine my life being any different than it is now.

Our household, in total, consists of 2 gravely outnumbered parents, 5 young children, 3 goldfish, and one semipermanant houseguest. We are large and we are loud! Shopping for a dining room table that could seat 8 every night raised more than a few eyebrows!

I am all about MOPs (Mothers Of Preschoolers). MOPs is a church based community outreach program that caters specifically to women who have children that are kindergarten aged or younger. The immediate goal is to give these women a sense of community. We are all women in the same stage of life. We all have potty issues, children who take so long to tie thier shoes, discipline issues- that kind of thing. Of course, the long term goal of MOPs is that every woman would be brought into the famly of Christian believers. The normal format for a MOPs morning at my MOPs would be: snack and fellowship, announcements, teaching time (all mothering/ womens issues), small group discussion time, craft and fellowship time. All of this fun is crammed into 3 hours. Of course while we are having all of this fun, our children are in thier classes having fun, too. The children's classes are set up in a Sunday School format and include music, gym, snack, story, and free play time- at our MOPs group anyway. By the way, if this sounds like something you would be interested in checking out you can. I go to Camano Chapel MOPS. We are one of the few groups that meets every week in the state of Washington. The Chapel even has a night MOPs for women who can't make it durring the day. Anyway, as you can see, I fully support MOPS.

This year I am the Special Teusday Coordinator at MOPs. I believe it is a leadership position unique to our group. I am in charge of the nonformat days (the SUPER fun ones). I am doing The Bite of MOPs on November 13th. Be looking for a post on that.

If I only had to look after me I think I would probably live on sugared cerial for two meals a day and starbucks coffee for the other. I guess it's a good thing I have to think about good nutrition on an ongoing basis! I also love taco salad- but it has to be made with Doritos, 1000 Island dressing, and lots of Ketsup. And Coke.

I love to play games. I like word games and I like card games. My current favorite card game is Phase 10. I am teaching my 10 year old how to lose like a good sport. We throw in an occasional game of Uno for the littler kids who would cry if they had to play Phase 10 with me. Jesse and I also like to play Scrabble- but it's not much of a challenge to play with him yet. Since English is my Husband's second language he won't play word games with me. I do like to play games with my dad, though. He almost always beats me.

I like to read, although I don't get much chance. I love to sing- I think I'm good, too. I have a huge collection of decorating magazines. I live in the typical mom uniform of a t-shirt, blue jeans, a zip front sweatshirt, and tennis shoes.

In a really small nutshell- that's me!