Friday, December 31, 2010
Nothing ever seemed quite right.
I decided I didn’t want to try to come up with a “perfect” plan just because it was a new day, a new month, a new year– besides, in two weeks I would break my resolution and feel lousy
That’s the thing about me. I don’t want to fail, so I don’t want to try. I want to control the
outcome of my life. I want to be master and commander of my universe. It tends to get in the way of a little thing called FAITH.
Looking back on my life so far, the times that have brought me the greatest joy and have been the most fulfilling, though, have been the times that I have listened to God say, “Go.” and I went. Not the times when I asked where– not the times I asked why– not the times I asked for how long.
The times that I have gone simply because the Lord led me have been the most rewarding
because God accomplished great things in me and through me.
It’s a new Year. Listen. Go. Do.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
This time I am offering you a chance to win a $45 dollar coupon code from CSN. (This cannot be applied to international fees.)
Leave me a comment with link or an address showing me what you would get from any CSN store, and I will choose a random winner on Thursday, December 23rd.
I can't wait to see what you would pick!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Last week I left you with shots of what would become the main decorations for my son's 6th birthday party.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
1 Samuel 8 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com: "11 He said, 'This is what the king who will reign over you will do: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. 12 Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. 13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. 14 He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. 15 He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. 16 Your menservants and maidservants and the best of your cattle [b] and donkeys he will take for his own use. 17 He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. 18 When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, and the LORD will not answer you in that day.'"
Friday, October 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
There is an anual, one way camping trip that I have never been on. It started about three years ago. Sebastian and the kids have been walking down the Washington Coast. The first year was from Shi Shi beach to lake Ozette. The next year they didn't get to go. The year after that was lake Ozette to LaPush. This year was LaPush to Oil City. I have not gone because I had a baby that I needed to take care of. I needed to move the car.
One going up, and a few miles later, one going down.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
My kids are there.
The house is quiet.
Sounds like a dream, right?
Feels like a nightmare.
I have been struggling lately.
I think I need to winter in Arizona.
It started about a month ago.
The days were still warm.
The nights were coming sooner.
Each day there was more left undone.
Then, about two weeks ago, I stopped going to bed at a normal time.
I starting finding non-productive things to putter with.
I started waking up on the couch and dragging myself to bed- kicking myself for all the things I didn't get done.
Two weeks ago, the rain started moving in.
Inside of me, too.
I started walking around in zombie mode.
I still have stretches when things are happy and productive, but I feel like the veil of mist that clings to the air is clinging to my heart, too.
I am struggling.
Those are the thoughts I wrestle with.
I know they are lies.
And don't worry, I have an appointment with my doctor.
It's a yearly discussion of pharmacology and other methods to combat the grey in my head.
It goes away when the skies turn blue again.
Just thought I would let you know.
I am struggling.
Monday, September 13, 2010
We live a couple of blocks inside the city limits. That means that just a couple of blocks away, our road turns into a two lane highway with a speed limit of 50 mph. Sometimes, cars are still going 50 mph when they pass my house.
Spike, naughty Spike, liked to run away. He never listened when he was called back, so I don't know what was different about that sunny Sunday afternoon in late August- but he decided to turn around and come back when he was called. Unfortunately, he decided to come back just as a 3/4 ton truck was barreling past our house. The driver of the truck hit Spike. He never even stopped or slowed down. Fortunately for Spike he was dead on impact and did not suffer. Unfortunately, all of my kids were either on the corner or in the yard and saw their dog die.
Sebastian gathered Spike out of the road and had the children say goodbye to him. We put him in a box and took him out to the woods to bury him. Afterward, we took the kids out to ice cream and we told funny Spike stories.
Here are the ones the kids told us:
When Dad said roll over, Spike spun around.
I like how little Spike was when we gave him a bath.
When we gave Spike a bath he rubbed himself all over the carpet and couches!
(This was hilarious to see. Spike would either put one side of his head down and run in circles, rubbing his head on the floor, or he would lay on his side and "run" so that he scooted across the floor or couch oh his side. He continued to do this until he felt he was sufficiently dry.)
One time Spike was running to Dad and Dad told him to sit, so he did. He slid the rest of the way to Dad.
It was funny when we went camping with Spike and we put him in the lake. He was swimming so hard to get back to land.
(Spike tolerated baths fairly well, but he HATED cold water!)
Jesse was in Washington DC with my mom, so we decided to wait until he got home to tell him that Spike died. In a wry, dry, sarcastic tone, he told me, "There's nothing worse than coming home from vacation to be told that your dog died."
We learned some hard lessons from Spike:
We learned from Spike that sometimes, we can love something and have to say goodbye.
We learned (especially the two youngest) a healthy respect for the road.
We learned that we can be sad. We can miss Spike. And we have to get up and keep living our lives.
We learned that memories are fun things when we are missing Spike.
I learned to Thank God for constantly protecting my children from unforeseen dangers.
We learned, by giving Spike's things away to the animal shelter, that even though Spike died, we could help out some other animals. We turned our sadness into actions.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Happy birthday, Son.
I pray you grow into the man of integrity and compassion, just as God intends for you.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
"Fine." I said. "I have some things to do in town anyway, and I didn't want to have to take you with me."
"No, Mama! The police will come and you will go to jail if you leave me here!"
"Well, I guess you can't fire me then."
He looked at his toes scuffing the tiled floor. "Well, you're still fired. Just don't leave, Mama."
So I went to read a book. I was bring a little selfish, too. A whole book. While the sink sat full of dirty dishes and the dish washer was full and un-run.
"Mama?" Chapter 12. "Can I have some applesauce?"
"I don't know. You fired me."
"Then you won't care."
And I didn't.
"Mama?" Chapter 25. "Can I sit on your lap?"
"Am I still fired?"
"I guess not."
"Sure, climb up here. But try not to wiggle. I'm reading."
He slipped his thumb into his mouth and toyed with a wisp of my hair. His breathing slowed and deepened, and the wet thumb slipped from between his lips. Chapter 31.
I sighed and shifted his weight. Only 3 more chapters to go. Never mind that my left arm was asleep from the elbow down from the weight of his sweaty head. I was almost done.
I closed the back cover of my book and hefted us off the couch. I carried my boy to his bed and tucked him in.
"Night, Mama," he mumbled as I kissed his mop of hair.
"Night, Love," I replied.
*While not entirely true, this story is inspired by actual events, and he does call me Mama. He's the only one.