Friday, May 9, 2008

Dealing With Hard Stuff

I have 5 children.
Thank the Lord, I have 5 beautiful, healthy children.
That's a lot of children.
That's a lot of life to deal with on a regular basis.
Sometimes the load can get to be too much.
Let me explain.
About 3 years ago I was at a crisis point in my life. All the foundations of my life were shaking and threatening to crumble from beneath me. Really. I felt so lonely. Adrift. But I never lost sight of my God. I have a great friend who held my hand and prayed me through my tough time. I had to decide at that point in my life if I believed in God because that is what I had been taught, or if I really trusted God to be the Lord of my life. And through it all, Kelly was there beside me. She earned the right to speak truth into my life even if that truth hurts- a lot.
This year I found myself in a hard spot again. I didn't feel good. At all.
My eyes hurt. my body ached. I wanted nothing more than to sit on my couch and go to sleep. All. The. Time. And I had no patience- for anyone or anything. I really couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. My husband said that he thought I was going through life robotically- just filling my obligations and nothing more. He asked me on almost on a weekly basis, "What is the deal with you? What is your problem?" I didn't know.
That is why God gives us friends who have been down the same road.
In the course of conversation, my friend, Kelly, said, "You are depressed."
Huh? No Way! I'm a Christian! It's not ok for a Christian to be depressed. Actually, I was mad at her- a little. But I agreed to think about it. I already had an appointment scheduled for my yearly woman's exam. I decided to bring the subject up at my appointment.
I am so glad I did.
The doctor prescribed me an antidepressant that I started taking right away.
I didn't realize just how CRAPPY I felt until I began to feel better. And boy do I fell better!
I sleep at night- all night.
I stay awake during the day.
I play and laugh with my kids.
I clean the house.
I find joy in my life again.
And I am so glad that someone in my life had earned the right to tell me the truth- even when it hurt.


Lee Ann said...

What timing for me to read this. I just refilled my antidepressent that I haven't taken in three years. My biggest symptom? Irritability. It's just not me, but everything drives me crazy! I'm still going to try and figure out if there's something else at the root of this depression, but I know from experience the meds work and my family deserves all of me so I will take it for now. Thanks for sharing.

Feathering My Nest said...

Oh Gina, I am so sorry you've had to go through this and have had to endure this experience. I have had a few bad days. I mean really dark days. All I can say is they are like a black cloud is over me.

I felt like I had not a friend in the world, even though I knew deep down I did; plus I have a mother, mothe-in-law, aunts, and sisters. I decided to put out the SOS and emailed every friend, even friends I had not heard from or seen in a long time. Every friend responded to my SOS!!! Many emailed back. Several called me. One of the friends who helped me most said, "You are not crazy. You are normal." She talked and listened a lot.

My bouts with depression have been at times every other month, and recently twice per year, lasting 2 or 3 days. I do not know what I would do if they lasted longer and were more frequent. I am so very thankful it has lessened with me rather than getting worse. I do know those dark days and how they can effect a person.

God helps us in many ways. For me it was His Word, friends, and Beth Moore Bible studies. If mine had been a more severe case, I would be using an anti-depressant. I'm not against them if they restore a person's outlook and makes them feel normal and happy. They can put 20 pounds on a person, however, so short turm use, might be good. I hope and pray that you stay feeling good and God continues helping you with friends, and His Word. God bless you Gina

Kris said...

Check your blood sugar too little sister!
(the verification word is hard to see thanks to O'Mara!)

Gina said...

Uh, Kris, could you come do that for me? I'm phlebotomy-phobic. I cry when I get blood drawn and can't even prick my own finger- on purpose.
By the way, my birthday is coming up and I asked the pharmacist when I got my refill today how important it was for me to not drink alcohol. He said VERY. It lowers the seizure treshold. You should maybe lay off the O'maras until you double check that. Besides, it can't be good for the blood sugar.

Debbie said...

Gina, just because you are a Christian, doesn't mean you aren't supposed to deal with real battles and real issues that those who aren't walking with the Lord have as well. You just have HIS STRENGTH, HIS ARMOR, HIS WISDOM, HIS PEACE to handle it all. Don't ever feel badly about how you've chosen to handle alleviating depression. Your kids need you... If the medicine helps you through this period of life when your kids need all of you, YOU DO IT! I will continue to pray for you. You are STRONG and FUNNY and TALENTED and you make me laugh every day! I'm glad to know you from afar. And thanks for sharing so openly about a difficult topic. I am sure many others will be blessed by it.

Trish said...

i just "got" your song. you are funny.

i have heard that "mental health issues" run in the family.......thanks for being the first to talk about it.

love you.

Anonymous said...

Always remember there is no shame in needing help. God does give us only what we can bear, but he does not tell us to bear it without help. He has given us so much including medicines to help us whenever we need it. We do not hesitate to take an antibiotic when we are sick, so why should there be a stigma in taking a pill to help us when something else is wrong. I am proud of you for being able to tell the WORLD you are vulnerable.
Love you