Here's The Deal: Don't Touch Me

Quirks. They kinda' take on a life of their own, don't they?
I don't like to be touched.
I'm not a hugger.
Don't stroke my arm as you are talking to me.
In fact, could you move about 1 foot away?

I know, I know. I can hear you...
"How is it that you don't like to be touched? You have five kids. You OBVIOUSLY like to be touched."

Really? That's none of your business and, frankly, it's rude.
But, let's unpack this box just a little.
I have 5 kids. They like to come and lay their head on my shoulder while I am sitting down. They like to get into my bed at night. They like to sit rightbesidemewhileIwatchtv. They hang over the back of my chair while I am on the computer. They follow me around the kitchen, always *right there* when I turn around. They pull on my arm in the grocery store. I love my kids and they need to touch me.

Believe me, the last thing I want to have happen, is to be in a room of adults and have them start touching me. AAAAHHHHH!

It only gets worse if you are pregnant. Why is it that people feel they have a right to fondle a pregnant woman's belly? WHY? Would it be cute for them to come and pinch my fat? The belly is almost as big now. Want me to pull my shirt up and flash my stretch marks?

This used to TICK ME OFF! Well, after all, I was pregnant and hormonal. I was being molested at MOPs one day and I kindly asked the woman to stop touching me. She laughed and did it all the more. Ob-nox-ious. She ended up getting her hand slapped like a naughty child. No one ever tried to touch my belly again. I'm just sayin'.

So, Here's the deal: Don't touch me.

By the way, I read the book. I loved it. If lewdity (Is that even a word?) and crass humor make you squirm, don't read it. If you want to read about how someone deals with a crippling phobia and triumphs, and peppers his story with signature raunchy humor, go for it. Just make sure you get some latex gloves and do not, I repeat, DO NOT read it in the bathroom.

Meh...

• We had a citizenship party for Sebastian this weekend. I love a good party. This as a good one. We had about 25 adult guests show up. About half of that was my family, a few were friends we have made in the last few years, but the rest were people that had invested into his life way back when. It was so exciting to see some of those people again after such a long time.
• My house has a hang over. Still. Post party let down, where you keep discovering paper plates in the bushes, really does me in.
• I have been working on a cabinet for a client of Sebastian's. I hate the way it is coming out. I think it is because I have had to squeeze in the time to do it around other things. Now I need to sand and refinish the doors. I asked Sebastian to bring them home so I can work on them here. I think that will make them look better. I really do.
• My sister, Trish, came down from Alaska for a few days. We planned the party for the weekend she was here. I'm glad she got to come, but that left me not free to run around doing the "sister" things. She went home today.
• We all got together to have lunch today, but I didn't get to stay long enough due to the afore mentioned cabinet.
• I think I need to sleep for a whole day. Preferably on a blanket in the sunshine. Unfortunately, I think I missed my opportunity for that today. I hear it may rain tomorrow.
• Meh.

A Red (,White, and Blue) Letter Day

Three letters. actually.

USA

After nearly 13 years, our family has reached a major milestone. And when I say "our family," I really mean the whole family. Almost 13 years ago we sat in the Federal Building with our infant son and interviewed for a green card. About a year later, and pregnant with our second son, I watched the proceedings in INS court. We were blissfully unaware when we started our proceedings that there were open orders for deportation. I sat in that court room, surrounded by family and friends, prepared to say goodbye to every one of them. I didn't have to.

Another year later, the green card finally arrived in the mail.

We rode that peaceful ride for 10 years- until this year when it was time for my husband's green card to expire.

Jesse, the baby we took to the initial interview, is almost 13. He did the initial work of finding the right form, downloading and printing it out.

I filled it out as much as I could, filed paperwork for Sebastian, and made MANY copies.

Sebastian, of course, did all the interviewing.

There are a few small details like a passport and registering to vote that still need taken care of, but we are glad have gotten to this resting point on the journey!

In The Loo

Remember that I mentioned that I had painted the kid's bathroom a while ago? I bet you want to see it finished. I do too- but you will have to settle for clean. In fact, I had to clean it in order for you to see it- and for the county not to condemn the place. (Bathrooms are not my strong suit.)

The bathroom is really dinky, and until recently it was painted yellow with rubber duckies. I figured that the 12 and 10 year old boys were probably done with duckies- but they still had to share the bathroom with 9 and 7 1/2 year old girls and a 5 year old boy. I chose something that was really fun with out being gender specific. Our house has walls that slope into the ceiling on the second floor, so there is no stopping point when you paint. Either you paint the ceiling the same color as the walls or you create a stopping point. So, create a stopping point is what I did. I had my husband hang some flat MDF molding around the room at the height of the top of the window and painted the lime green up to that point and white above it.

I still need to paint the trim in the bathroom, but I really want to strip the pre-existing trim and the door for re-painting. (Does anyone know how to strip trim in place without damaging the surrounding walls?)

I chose the paint to go with the polka dots on the shower curtain, and found a rug to match. Then when I got home I noticed that the kid's towels all look super hanging next to the shower curtain. Sebastian made the towel rack a few years ago and I moved it up to the top of the window frame when I redid the bathroom. Only Jonah needs a stool to hang his towel up.This is the other side of the room. See that little cart there in the corner? Look closer:I am convinced that God loves me. The same weekend I painted the bathroom, a friend asked me if I wanted it. I knew I had just the place for it. And I have 5 kids, and there are 10 drawers- in 5 colors. All the colors are close to the kids' assigned colors, to boot! Now, every one's tooth brushes, deodorant, hair pretties, etc. are put away!!!!

I really like the new look. What do you think?

Sunday Snicker

Today our pastor used a joke as a sermon highlight. Don't stop me if you've heard this one:

A young husband was ill. No matter what he did, he just couldn't seem to get better. Finally he had his wife drive him to the doctor. As he was dressing after the examination the doctor spoke to the young wife in the waiting area. "Your husband has a severe and rare case of anemia. He needs plenty of rest, a hearty home cooked breakfast, a hot lunch , and a meat and potatoes type of dinner EVERY DAY. Also, he needs his home to be kept immaculately. If you do all of this, he will live. Do you want to tell him, or do you want me to tell him?"
The wife answered that she would like to be the one to break the news to her husband, so she went to the exam room. Taking one look at his wife's face the husband asked, "How bad is it?"
The wife burst into uncontrollable sobs and finally managed to choke out, "He...said...you...were...going...to...die!!!!!"

I turned to my husband and said in a stage whisper, "Honey, you're going to die!"
He said back to me, "I've been dead for a long time."

Good thing the pastor was at the end of his sermon, because we had THE worst case of giggles you can imagine!

Beware of Trojans Bearing Gifts

See that side bar? The part where it says buy a new refigerator? See that crossed out?

Well, we didn't exactly buy a new refigerator.

Our friend called and asked if we wanted one. It was fairly new. He just pulled it out of a rental unit managed by the company he works for. It was free. Free is a good price.



There was one catch.



It had been sitting in the unit for about a month with no power- and there was food in it. Uh...



Well, he brought it over, we pulled it onto the deck. Our friend pulled out his box cutter and started to cut off the plastic wrapped around it for transport. I suddenly had to go do... something, somewhere... else.



I was good enough to allow my husband to clean it out for me. Which he did- with a garbage can and a hose. (We threw the food away, and then we threw the garbage can away, too.) He let the fridge sit on the deck, open, for a week end. Then I went after it. I started with a bucket of Lysol. Afew days later I rubbed it down with a few boxes of baking soda. Next, I closed the door and let it sit over night. I hosed it again and then I sprayed it down with bleach water.



Finally, we brought it inside.

I called my friend to say thank you for the grossest, most heineous gift that any one has ever given to me.

*Sigh* I liked the price.

Happy Birthday Miss Elizabeth

You just get prettier everyday: