Friday, April 23, 2010

Here's The Deal: Don't Touch Me

Quirks. They kinda' take on a life of their own, don't they?
I don't like to be touched.
I'm not a hugger.
Don't stroke my arm as you are talking to me.
In fact, could you move about 1 foot away?

I know, I know. I can hear you...
"How is it that you don't like to be touched? You have five kids. You OBVIOUSLY like to be touched."

Really? That's none of your business and, frankly, it's rude.
But, let's unpack this box just a little.
I have 5 kids. They like to come and lay their head on my shoulder while I am sitting down. They like to get into my bed at night. They like to sit rightbesidemewhileIwatchtv. They hang over the back of my chair while I am on the computer. They follow me around the kitchen, always *right there* when I turn around. They pull on my arm in the grocery store. I love my kids and they need to touch me.

Believe me, the last thing I want to have happen, is to be in a room of adults and have them start touching me. AAAAHHHHH!

It only gets worse if you are pregnant. Why is it that people feel they have a right to fondle a pregnant woman's belly? WHY? Would it be cute for them to come and pinch my fat? The belly is almost as big now. Want me to pull my shirt up and flash my stretch marks?

This used to TICK ME OFF! Well, after all, I was pregnant and hormonal. I was being molested at MOPs one day and I kindly asked the woman to stop touching me. She laughed and did it all the more. Ob-nox-ious. She ended up getting her hand slapped like a naughty child. No one ever tried to touch my belly again. I'm just sayin'.

So, Here's the deal: Don't touch me.

By the way, I read the book. I loved it. If lewdity (Is that even a word?) and crass humor make you squirm, don't read it. If you want to read about how someone deals with a crippling phobia and triumphs, and peppers his story with signature raunchy humor, go for it. Just make sure you get some latex gloves and do not, I repeat, DO NOT read it in the bathroom.

7 comments:

Therese said...

I have to say that I can't stand it when people touch my belly when I am pregnant...so annoying!

On the other hand, you'd have a hard time in our family-we kiss and hug all.the.time. It's a cultural thing (my Nonno was from Sicily)...

may have to check the book out!

gramma2many said...

Therese, I have a hard time in this family of mine who hates to be touched too. Gina is not the only one. It is in their fathers genes cause I came from a huge Irish touchy feely family. I have learned to keep my hands to myself.

Kris said...

Sounds like a book I should read. DON'T TOUCH ME EITHER!

The Only Son said...

Do you want to keep that hand?

Frizzy and Bird said...

It's funny. I forgot about you not liking to be touched until I read your blog title.

I'm a hugger as you probably remember but I do try to respect other's personal space. I recall how badly I didn't want to be touched after all my fertility problems. I felt like my body hadn't been mine in ages and KEEP AWAY COMPLETELY!

Bird was shocked at how fast I figured out Howie didn't like to be touched. I was shocked at how so many people couldn't figure it out for themselves when he practically ran away from them or cringed on National TV. What ever his reasons I respect him too. Esp in today's world of spreading who knows what.

Jennifer said...

Yeah,Gina doesn't like to be touched. But sometimesshe's just so darn cute I can't help but hug her! :o)

At least you let your kiddos camp for more than 10 minutes. (That was one of my favorite stories - and the carnival ride.)

David (BIL) said...

Yeah, I came from a total family of huggers, so coming into the Rosebrook family was an experience for me. I love to hug, and use phrases like "I love You." My mom was awesome, just like my MIL.

Rosebrook blood is weird.......:)

By the way, I do know not to hug any of them. I won't touch any of them either.

Oh yeah and when you're dying, don't look to me for CPR...........