Home ECONOMICS

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate to go grocery shopping? I usually wait until we are down to condiments- literally- and we have to eat out on the way to the grocery store. It's sad. And true. I hate it when they ring up the bill and say, "That will be $220, please." Try not to snort coffee out your nose as you read that. That's the correct amount for a family of 8 for 2 weeks. Yes, it is.
But stop to think about it:
$220/2 weeks= $110 per week
$110/8 people= $14.75 per person, per week

What does that really mean?
It means that I can eat out once at a restaurant that serves it's food on a plate- but I have to go hungry for the rest of the week.
Or I could eat out 3 times at a restaurant that serves it's food in a paper wrapper. I'm still going to be really hungry at the end of the week.
Or, I could eat at home 21 times. And not be hungry at all.

Hmm, maybe $220 isn't so bad after all.

In Which I Lose My Mind- And My Car Keys

First day of school!!! Hooray, Hooray, Hoo-
Except the school called me to come get my sick kid. After snacks and homework we went to the next town to the 10 minute walk in clinic at The Pharmacy. My husband is out of town. You do the math. 1 parent+ 5 kids(1 near teenager)( 1 preschooler)=MADNESS.
Said preschooler was asleep in my arms for the entire visit which included a trip to the pharmacy counter to check in, a trip to the clinic entrance and into the exam room, a trip back to the pharmacy counter to get the prescription filled, a trip to the greeting cards to listen to all the obnoxious Hoops and YoYo cards while we wait for said prescription, a trip back to the pharmacy counter to pick up the prescription and finally, back out to the car. Everyone buckles, get in, reach for my keys... reach for my keys... look for my keys... Go back inside and look for my keys... come back to the car and dump out my purse... unbuckle the car seat and shake it out... go back in to check the exam room... check at the pharmacy counter...turn the kids upside down and shake them... Check the clock to see that an hour has passed since I started looking for my keys... Call my husband to have him call our semi permanent house guest who doesn't understand me well to have him look for the spare... wait 1/2 hour for the spare to show up... Take children in various stages of melt down home to eat...something.

I have this theory about how my keys disappeared, too. It's a really good one. It goes like this:
I stop by the pharmacy counter and set down my keys. Then I walk away, but my keys do not. While I am otherwise engaged, another pharmacy patron finishes their own business, sees the keys out of the corner of their eye as they are turning to go. They grab "their" keys puts them into their pocket, goes out to the car, reaches into their purse, gets their keys, and drives away. You can totally see how this could happen, no?

By the time I was almost home and 2 1/2 hours have passed since I took the 45 minute trip, my brother in law called to tell me that he was at my house to pick up a piece of furniture- which requires that I totally rearrange the girls' room- since it was their bed, and all. An hour later, with the new beds set up, I bent over to pick something up off the floor and the hood of my sweatshirt flopped over my head. Guess what fell out of my sweatshirt hood? Yep, my keys. Please don't tell anyone, OK? Good.

And, before you ask, I have NO idea how they got there since the 4 year old was asleep the whole time.

What's The Difference?

What I Did Do Last Week

So, I really did get in my car, drink a few Dr. Peppers, stop at the store to pick a few things up, and drive to Idaho. I even wore a bra on the trip- but then I changed into my swimsuit and I was wet for the rest of the week.

Our oldest was at camp for the week, the 2 youngest were at Papa and Grandma's house, and the middle children, Sebastian and I, and our friend met up with some other river nuts in Idaho and had ourselves a grand week long adventure drifting down the Salmon and Snake rivers.

We had a great time. It was sunny and warm to hot the entire time. In the evenings, warm breezes blow down the canyon. By 9 pm, you might think about pulling off your swimsuit and putting on pants, a tank top, and maybe a sweatshirt.

Immediately after we pulled off the river, we began talking about what we should tweak for when we do it again next year- and making sure that 4 of our 5 kids are available the week we do it.

What I Didn't Do This Week

I didn't:

• Flip a single light switch up or down
• Read any blogs
• Read any e-mails
• Read any FB status updates
• Talk to anyone on any type of phone
• Watch any movies
• Watch any TV
• Listen to any music
• Drive or ride in any motorized vehicle
• Use any appliance that required a battery or electricity
• Stay up past 10 pm
• Get up later than 8 am
• Wear a bra
• Shower
• Put on deodorant
• Wear any socks
• Flush a toilet
• Drink a single Starbucks grande iced coffee- thankyouverymuch.
• Eat out
• Spend any money
• Talk to over half of my kids

So, does anyone care to guess what I did do?

Family, you are excluded.

File This Under, "Um...OK...."

The kids were playing with the garage door. Push the button, door up. Push the button, door down. Up.Down.Up.dDown.Up.Down.Up...
I went to yell at them and saw my 4 year old dangling from the handle 6 feet from the concrete floor- with his sister waining for her turn.
"Um...OK...Stop."

To The Good People At Target

I know you had a million other things to do yesterday, so I want to thank you for dropping everything and looking for my cute purse. It really is cute, too. It is straw-y and is all the colors of Rainbow Sherbet. Anyway, you all went over the top to make sure I was once again reunited with my cute little "ice cream" purse with my driver's license, debit card, check book and gas credit card inside. I really do appreciate the concern that went into trying to locate it. I'm sure I looked stricken when I didn't find it in your store. On my way out to re-check my van I even looked in your garbage cans in the front. No dice.
Lucky for me, I always stuff my car keys and cell phone in my pocket. That's how I happened to have them when a slow dawning began in my brain. I'm talking about the realization that I had brought my purse into the house to give someone a check in the morning, and quite possibly, my sherbet cuteness was there even now. Thank you for waiting patiently while I called the neighbor girl to check. Thank you for not hating me when she called back to say it was there. I know you all talked about me for the rest of the day in the break room, but I am ok with that. At least you were nice to me to my face in my time of duress.
Anyway, thanks for trying to process my order with my alternate check book- which I happened to find under the seat of my car- and no ID. I know it is not your fault that the system rejected my check. I really think your system has a space cadet sensor... Thank you for suspending my transaction and getting it all finished for me when I returned an hour later with said yummy cuteness.
It is really good to know that you all are on top of things.
Sincerely,
The crazy lady with 4 kids, 4 pairs of shoes, various socks and underwear, and a stack of Sterilite bins

P.S. My husband couldn't believe I went back to the same Target. He said he would have gone to the other one and re-shopped. Clearly he has never shopped with our children.