I am afraid. Of so many things.
I can't even begin to tell you all the things that hurt inside of me.
Because, honestly, I find myself crying and I don't always know why.
Only other time in my life have I had so much hurt.
Once before I have felt the daily ripping of my heart,
tearing it from my chest.
Once before I have felt the daily pain.
The pain that moves me to tears in the middle of nothing.
In the middle of everything.
The pain that had me clinging to my Jesus.
Clawing at the hem of His garment.
Begging Him to take it away.
Looking back at that time I see how God chose to bless me with a deeper understanding of His love for me.
He taught me that I am never alone no matter how adrift I feel.
He taught me that I am precious to Him, and He desires to give me good gifts.
So, I wonder, What do I have to learn this time?
If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then cool is just how far we have to fall
And I am not immune, I only wanna be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess
I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you
Burn away the pride, bring me to my weakness
'Til everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on
'Cuz honestly, I'm not that strong
I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, closer to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, closer to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, closer to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved
I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
Leads me to you, leads me to you
I'm not alright
I'm not alright
I'm not alright
That's why I need you
Then cool is just how far we have to fall
And I am not immune, I only wanna be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess
I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you
Burn away the pride, bring me to my weakness
'Til everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on
'Cuz honestly, I'm not that strong
I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, closer to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, closer to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, closer to you
And now I'm moved, and now I'm moved, and now I'm moved
I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
Leads me to you, leads me to you
I'm not alright
I'm not alright
I'm not alright
That's why I need you
3 comments:
Neither am I. Nor do I expect to ever be again. There will be a forever hole.
Love you both so much! Wish I could take away this pain and hurt so badly. I want to scream along side you, "It's NOT FAIR!" I want to throw a tantrum and act like a fool all the while clinging to God with all my heart and soul begging him to make it all go away and right again.
I will keep praying and holding to his promise of love.
Oh I'm SO sorry. I don't know what else to say.
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