Stupid People and Margaritas

When I walk through the store or down the street, I draw stares.  Not that I am stare worthy, more that my entourage is large.  LARGE.

I have 6 kids ranging from taller than me to sitting on my hip.  And, if that wasn't enough, they have friends.  Sometimes I am that crazy lady with 12 kids in her yard, and only half of them can go home.

People used to say the stupidest things.
Things like,"Do you know what causes that?"


So, here is a list of stupid things people have actually said, and the answers I wish I could give them.


How many kids are you planning to have?
Well, I'm only planning to have 2.  I'm just trying to figure out which ones I like the best before I kill the rest.  It would be a pity to find out down the road that I killed the wrong ones.


Do you know what causes that?
No.  Would you mind telling me?


You must be a saint.
Nope.  Just really horny.


What about adoption?  Don't you know there are starving people all over the world?
Have you looked in the mirror lately?  Maybe you should sent them some of your food.
(Besides, one of my children does not share my biology- I just can't remember which one.)


Are you Mormon/ Catholic?
Yes.  You should see how many kids my sister wives have!
Yes.  Tell the Pope I want birth control, PLEASE!


Don't you feel selfish with that many kids when there are people who cannot have any?
Believe me, they can come get some....


People tend to keep their stupid comments to themselves more as the kids get older.  I'm not sure if they think we are all just hanging out together, if they think I am the babysitter, or if they have figured that the girl with 6 kids, extras, and a bottle of tequila and margarita mix just should not be messed with.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill