Stupid People and Margaritas

When I walk through the store or down the street, I draw stares.  Not that I am stare worthy, more that my entourage is large.  LARGE.

I have 6 kids ranging from taller than me to sitting on my hip.  And, if that wasn't enough, they have friends.  Sometimes I am that crazy lady with 12 kids in her yard, and only half of them can go home.

People used to say the stupidest things.
Things like,"Do you know what causes that?"


So, here is a list of stupid things people have actually said, and the answers I wish I could give them.


How many kids are you planning to have?
Well, I'm only planning to have 2.  I'm just trying to figure out which ones I like the best before I kill the rest.  It would be a pity to find out down the road that I killed the wrong ones.


Do you know what causes that?
No.  Would you mind telling me?


You must be a saint.
Nope.  Just really horny.


What about adoption?  Don't you know there are starving people all over the world?
Have you looked in the mirror lately?  Maybe you should sent them some of your food.
(Besides, one of my children does not share my biology- I just can't remember which one.)


Are you Mormon/ Catholic?
Yes.  You should see how many kids my sister wives have!
Yes.  Tell the Pope I want birth control, PLEASE!


Don't you feel selfish with that many kids when there are people who cannot have any?
Believe me, they can come get some....


People tend to keep their stupid comments to themselves more as the kids get older.  I'm not sure if they think we are all just hanging out together, if they think I am the babysitter, or if they have figured that the girl with 6 kids, extras, and a bottle of tequila and margarita mix just should not be messed with.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill

8th place

Happy Birthday, Bob

I love you 10 years worth.

Mom

Ebb and Flow

I saw a group of mentor-friends standing on the sidewalk of my small town today.  I waved, a great big attention getting wave, and then I went over to say "Hi".  Two of the women I knew, and they introduced me to their friend.  We chatted about what I was up to.  Last day of school, broken washer door, business, refinishing beds, and packing a kid up to go to Yellowstone.

"Well, sounds like the tide is in at your house!" The new friend said to me.
"All the way in." was my reply.

And it is.  The water is deep and I am treading it the best I can.  But, the thing about tides is that they ebb and flow.  It will go out again, and I will regroup, and I will be ready for the tide to come rushing back in, because this is life.

I Don't Have Time

I don't have time.
I find myself saying that.
But I do have time.

I went to see my sister today.
She took me for a ride in her award winning new old truck.  We were discussing the truck and I asked her if she was still going to build a teardrop trailer for it, like she had planned.  She stared out the windshield and said, "I don't have time."  There was no drama.  No call to pity.  It was just a statement of fact.  I didn't say anything, because we both know she is right.

Make time to do the things that you really want to do.
Make time to love people.
Because soon, we won't have time.

Splash

The student crossing guards are treated to a trip to the water slides at the end of the school year.  I went along as a chaperon and got to test out my new waterproof camera.  And my sunscreen... which, apparently, is not all that good.

He Looked SO Sweet

Until I realized that he peed in my bed.