Saturday, April 25, 2009

Didja' Like Susan Boyle?

Well, how do you like them apples?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day, And Other Stupid Stuff That Should Be Common Sense

I heard a radio commercial last night.  I'm sure the phrase they used is going to be, or already was, some kind of buzz word.
Trip Chaining.
You know, when you combine all your errands into a single trip.
Right.  Because in this economy, none of us can figure out that doing all your stuff in one trip saves you gas, which saves you money.

Here's my beef with the "green" movement (which is heavily populated by lefties who think they invented it {Insert big shout-out to my favorite lefty here}):
It's common sense to conserve.
It isn't new.
We, as a collective, consume far too much.  We are fat, we are in debt, and we are drowning in possessions.  If we learned to live without much of the superfluous fluff, we'd be doing a whole lot better on the green front.

So, I really don't need a radio ad to tell me how to "Trip Chain."  Conserve your breath. 

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Case #1:
This wild child is a celebrity.
She has done some work, and I loved her as a child actress.
Less work recently, but then, the rumors of nose candy are swirling again.
The point is, she has worked to be famous.  
I get it.  Kind of.

Case #2:
This princess has done nothing short of s few skanky Carl's Jr. ads.
It just goes to show that money can in fact buy anything.
Did you know that the word "Celebutant" was coined for her?
I don't get it, really.

Case #3:
This...this...well, what do I call her?
Of course she falls into the category of celebutant, but really!
Do you know what her claim to fame is?
Her father successfully defended the piece of human waste that is O.J. Simpson.
Yep.  That is it.
I don't get it.   At all.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Rock climbing can be VERY dangerous.
And you might lose clothing while you are engaged in this activity.
For instance:

  • You might take your children to the ocean where there are big rocks to climb.
  • You might bring all your children.
  • Some of them might be quite young.
  • You might get engrossed watching one of your children climb.
  • You may fail to see your youngest child topple over and bash his eyebrow on a rock.
  • However, the screams of "Blood!" may rouse you from your enchantment.
  • You may even whip off your sweatshirt and then your tank top in front of the entire family (being thankful you are in a secluded area) and use the tank top as a compress- you probably would have put your sweatshirt back on though.
  • You might be inclined to toss the bloody tank top in the trash when you get home.
  • You will, most likely, be glad that you are calm in situations such as this.
  • Undoubtedly, you will pride yourself on the ability to fashion butterflies from regular band aids with your pocket knife that conveniently has scissors on it.

I'm just warning you. It could happen.


I wanted to play the song First Aid In The First Grade from the Veggie Tales Jonah movie- but I could not find it. Since we were at the ocean, and it is on the same album, and we are talking about my Jonah here, and I like it, this one will have to do.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Spring Beak Days 6, 7, and 8

We fled the city.

But first we cleaned the family room.  And we scrubbed every. single. bathroom.  We have 4.  This is the first time in...ever...that all the bathrooms were clean at once.  Really.  It wasn't pretty.  And I still need to get down on my hands and knees to do all the bathroom floors.  But all the fixtures are washed and the floors were swept.  They just need a little more.

We headed out to my sister Kris's house in the woods.
Where my children ran free for 2 1/2 days.  Even the 4 year old.  And I didn't worry once because her whole acre is fenced to keep dogs and small children in.  I can't even tell you how much my kids liked being in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do.  They did things like whisper in the ear of the deaf dog (in an attempt to make her hear him), cross country croquet (inventive!), play with wooden swords, take rides with Uncle Fun on dirt bikes, eat good food, play video games, play Phase 10- wait, that was me.  

We also went to some second hand stores.  Because they had new junk that I had never seen because they were out of my area.  No, wait, scratch that.  there was something I had seen before.  And I found it quite humorous.  I was looking through the picture frames and I saw a piece of art my sister made.  I had to laugh because, really, what are the chances?

Anyway, we had a good visit and we got home late Saturday night.  I planned that because the drive is quiet that way, and I don't have to stop for potty!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Say What?

In the car:
Jesse (11): How many bytes are in a gigabyte?
Libby (8): It depends on how big your mouth is...


At Red Robin I took a crayon box away from my 4 year old.  He stomped his foot and said, "I'm calling God!"

My Own Private Version Of Hell.

Alternately titled; Spring Break, Day 5
I have 2 of my own versions of Hell. One is to take 5 children into Costco. The other is Chuck E. Cheese. However, the second is tempered by the fact that it is mid-week, mid-day, and all our neighboring school districts are already done with spring break.

This mornings jobs were to clean the pigsty school/craft room, living room, front entry hall, dining room, kitchen, and back entry/ mud room. We hadn't cleaned the kitchen since we came home from camping on Monday night. Yuck.

So, after a morning of slave laborcleaning the downstairs portion of our gi-huge-ic house, we were off. My sister in law is a store manager for a certain national chain that has a red bird for it's mascot. She gave my dad a stack of coupons for free kids meals that he could give to the kids who come to his office. Or his grand kids. Whatever. We got the hook up on 5 free kids meals. I wish I could still order off the kid's menu.

After lunch we went to Chuck E. Cheese. Which I call Chuck E. Hell. And my four year old corrects me every time, "It's Chuck E. Jesus!" Wow, talk about opposite ends of the spectrum.

I should have been gambling today because I hit the jackpot on 3 different games. My kids got some cheap crap made in China nice prizes.

So, I spent $0 on my kids' lunches (Somewhat more on mine), and $20 for 200 tokens in Hell. That works out to $4 per child. Nice!

Just wait until you hear what tomorrow's jobs are...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Spring Break, Day 4

Today we had a repeat of last year's trip to Karen's hot tub.
I didn't take any pictures today, so just look at last year's pictures. All the kids look the same, they're just a little taller.

Karen proceded to tromp me at Phase 10. I don't lose well. So, after pizza I had a chance to redeem myself when Both Karen and her husband wanted to play a round. I lost. Again. I'm glad I didn't buy any Lotto tickets today.

Before we left the house I made the kids help me clean all 3 bedrooms which included stripping, washing, and remaking the beds- among other gross jobs.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's adventure.

Spring Break, Days 1, 2, and 3

Ah, Spring Break is upon us once again.
Remember the rules? Free or Cheap. It's like a mantra.

So, the kids and I washed the cars on Friday afternoon. Then on Saturday we went Camping in Leavenworth, WA.

The real work came when they had to unpack on Monday night.

Enjoy seeing what we did for cheap.

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow: Spring Break 2009

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

In Which I Rail Against Society

Dear Lazy Parents;

I think you are rude. There I said it. You are lazy, rude and discourteous. And I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for ruining my enjoyment of my daughter’s choir concert. I realize that from where we were sitting it would have been hard to hear anything anyway, but it was downright impossible to hear over the basketballs. To your children’s credit, they did stop playing ball when my dad scolded them. Some of them even brought their balls and sat down.

But to the really thoughtless parent who let their child run back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and… You really frosted me.

I, of all people, understand that it is hard to make your child(ren) sit still for an hour. I understand that children get fussy. But let me assure you that letting them RUN around in a concert is the WRONG thing to do. I had to scold my 6 and 4 year olds several times. Next time we sit through something (admittedly tedious) it will be somewhat easier for them and for all those around us.

Let’s just do a little social supposition here:
Suppose you never tell your 2 year old “No” when they demand to run around at inappropriate times. That 2 year old will become a 4 year old who demands to be allowed to do whatever they want- LOUDLY. They will become a wild and unmanageable 6, 8, and then 10 year old. At some point this child may even be bigger than you. Believe me, they will know when this happens.
Said big child will take to stealing things- because no one ever made an attempt to harness this child. Said child will take to running away, using drugs, felony, and possibly murder. The parents of said child will still be totally clueless. They will even blame society for the mess that they have created. BUT IT WILL BE THEIR OWN FAULTS.

So, yes, I know that setting boundaries around your children is hard. But it is much harder to deal with your own failure at a later date.

And let me just say, one more time, Thank you for ruining my child’s concert with your rudeness. And yes, I am blaming you, the parent of the running 2 year old, and not your child.

P.S. Could you please forward this to all your friends who sit in the video venue at church and let them know that we do in fact have a nursery if they really want to allow their children to run and play during church. OOH, and have them pass it on to their friends who stand in the hall and kitchen and talk (not whisper) just because we are not actually in the sanctuary. Thanks.